• Jonathan Shiek

Man Gets Penis Stuck In Bottle and Blames It On Loan Sharks

Guys, I know you’re cringing with me on this one. So it turns out, a 47-year-old man in Johor was placed in a rather peculiar predicament where his penis was allegedly forced into a bottle by loan sharks.

In a report from Astro Awani and Sinar Harian, a fire and rescue team were notified of the incident sometime in the evening about an hour after the incident occurred. Having only received minute details regarding what to expect, 6 members from the fire and rescue team were dispatched to Pontian Hospital to ‘handle’ the situation.

Upon arrival at the hospital, the fire and rescue team were rather taken aback at what they saw. There, laid on a hospital bed was a slightly elder gentleman writhing in agony with a plastic bottle enveloping his penis. That said, being the professionals they are, the 6-man team quickly assessed the situation and acted in unison.

They used special high-powered cutting equipment to remove the bottle from the man’s penis. Finally, after the bottle was removed, the man could breathe a sigh of relief as the bottle was gone but penis remained… albeit with a bit of bleeding. Now between you and me gents, having a high-powered cutting tool anywhere near my ‘Willis and Doodle berries’ might throw me into cardiac arrest.

Credits: Giphy

When questioned about how the bottle came to be on his junk, the man claimed that it was the act of a loan shark. Once the loan shark had done his deed and left, the man then tried to yank it out on his own but to no avail. He was then rushed to the hospital.

Do take this next bit with a grain of salt as it is merely my own personal speculation. Men can be, at times, the dumbest creatures on the planet. We seek pleasure from things that by no means are meant to provide us with said pleasure and in turn, end up with ‘interesting injuries’. You can roughly see where I am going with this right?

Either way, I sure hope that the man recovers alright and that the ‘loan sharks’ will stop shoving his penis into bottles.

Credits: Giphy


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