• Jonathan Shiek

4 Lesser Known Signs That You Are In A Toxic Relationship

There’s nothing quite like falling in love is there? You both swoon for each other with butterflies swirling in your tummies as you gaze upon each other’s eyes with the twilight sky hovering behind you two. The two of you then lean in closer; heart racing, minds blank and lost in time. In the blink of an eye, you two have just shared your first kiss.

The two of you then pause for a moment, unsure what to make of it. You reminiscence your kiss despite performing it just a few seconds ago. You glance back at each other and smile sheepishly. The two of you have fallen in love.

Well that’s all fun and games until you fast-forward 5 years down the relationship and you find that things are not all that cracked up to be. More often than not, you seem irritated with your partner, you find that they no longer tickle your senses silly and above all, you discovered that you no longer love them.

Credits: Pinterest

So why did it turn out this way? Well perhaps you were in a toxic relationship and you just didn’t know it. So let me bring you up to speed on how to identify if you are in a toxic relationship with 4 lesser known signs about it.

1. Jealousy

In all honesty, jealousy in a relationship is technically fine in small amounts. After all, it does tend to demonstrate that you do in fact care about your partner to some extent plus it also makes your partner feel desired and valued. However, extreme jealousy is a massive red flag.

Partners who are extremely jealous tend to isolate you and distance you away from your friends in fear that you might leave them. The casual get-togethers and hang-outs with friends will all of a sudden come to a halt and before you know it, you haven’t seen your friends in months which naturally, would leave you extremely lonely… something that your partner would not understand because they are under the impression that you don’t need any friends as long as you have a partner.

2. Keeping Secrets

Credits: LifeHack

I can’t stress how important trust is to the foundations of any successful relationship. As I have learnt the hard way, withholding secrets from your partner can lead to disastrous consequences such as a week-long argument. Not to mention it promotes a toxic relationship.

Therefore, you shouldn’t ever feel like you need to hide things from your partner, regardless if it’s something that will upset or anger them. If you find that your partner is incapable of talking things out despite you being completely honest with them, then perhaps your partner is toxic and you should consider leaving.

3. People-Pleasing

This is a behavior that is usually unassociated with a toxic relationship but it most certainly can be in the long run. A relationship without conflict is practically non-existent. No matter how good things are, it is virtually impossible not to go through any conflict.

Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation where you are the only one who is voicing out concerns and opinions, while your partner remains silent and simply agrees to everything you say, then you might be in an extremely toxic situation and here’s why.

If your partner is always bending to your will by compromising their own happiness and opinions, then what they’re doing is merely suppressing their inner thoughts and feelings and once they have reached their breaking point, all hell will break loose resulting in a situation where it is impossible to patch things up.

4. Love-Bombing

Love-bombing is by far the most unassuming red flag that many of us do not see coming. To most people, receiving grand gestures of affection is wonderful and to a certain extent, I agree. But similar to bombs, it’s a giant spurt of energy that explodes and leaves you with nothing afterwards.

More often than not, this occurs during the honeymoon phase where both individuals are keen on demonstrating how much love they have for one another. Both individuals will send each other flowers, go on long picnics and even spend upwards of 12 hours a day on phone calls.

However, doing so in excess will exhaust the relationship almost as quickly as it started. Therefore, the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship is consistency, not grandiosity. Pace yourself accordingly and while you are still getting to know each other, it would do you some good to identify their love language too.



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